Sometimes I get anxious when I see a book labelled as a coming-of-age story because I came of age so long ago it’s a fading memory. I worry because I fear I’m too old to understand the younger point of view. Sometimes I don’t think I know a millennial from a snowflake or a Gen X. And I so dislike labels and compartments. But I needn’t have feared because I think this book transcends those labels and identifiers that we feel compelled to place upon things and people.
‘ It begins as your typical boy meets boy. While out with friends at a university drag night, Tom buys Ming a drink. Confident and witty, a charming young playwright, Ming is the perfect antidote to Tom's awkward energy, and their connection is instant. Tom finds himself deeply and desperately drawn into Ming's orbit, and on the cusp of graduation, he's already mapped out their future together. But, shortly after they move to London to start their next chapter, Ming announces her intention to transition.
From London to Kuala Lumpur, New York to Cologne, we follow Tom and Ming as they face shifts in their relationship in the wake of Ming's transition. Through a spiral of unforeseen crises - some personal, some professional, some life-altering - Tom and Ming are forced to confront the vastly different shapes their lives have taken since graduating, and each must answer the essential question: is it worth losing a part of yourself to become who you are?’
It’s a pretty spot-on blurb! As a story this is overwhelmingly topical and pertinent for the times we live in. The whole transgender issue has become a contentious one if social media is anything to go by. But this book seems to set things into a far more accessible perspective. And one of the most wonderful things about this story is that it doesn’t seek to wave banners and flags and by the time you finish the book you understand, if you didn’t already, that gender and sexuality do not define a person.
Yes, this is a coming of age story but it is also a story about love, loss, relationships and friendship. Nicola Dinan has created such beautiful characters, beautiful because they are real and flawed. Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Most of us flounder our way through life making mistakes and making amends. And this novel captures that so perfectly.
I found it to be a well-paced narrative, swapping between Tom and Ming as narrators so the reader is treated to both points of view which gives us the balance a book like this needs. There are always two ways of looking at most things and I think that comes across in this story.
I found the title intriguing and the exposition offered was delightful. I’d love to divulge it here, but I’m not going to! Because to discover it as you read the book was one of the high points for me. I wanted to punch the air and say yes!
Life these days is multistranded. It probably always has been, but somehow it seems more and more so today. Relationships are complicated. Pressures are many. This book doesn’t shy away from anything. So many of the characters display traits that we’ve seen, we’ve dealt with in our lives and if we can’t necessarily identify with some of the more specific issues in the book, we understand where everyone is coming from.
But for all of the serious issues covered in the book, there are some moments of light relief and humour. I loved the part where Cindy, Ming’s stepmother, visits New York and they attend the theatre to see a production of the Little Shop of Horrors. But there are some heartbreaking moments in this book, and I’d be surprised if you don’t shed a tear or two.
This is a most impressive debut novel and my ‘bookstinct’ is telling me it could be very important. Time will tell. But it’s certainly in my top 10 this year, so far. My thanks to Milly Reid at Doubleday for a gifted copy.